Through my child's eyes

Over the past five weeks, Peanut and I have been reading through the book of Mark for our time in the Bible.  She is a very sensitive child, and we have to be careful what we allow her to watch as far as television and movies.  For example, when we watch Little House on the Prairie, she always sits next to me because if there is a disturbing scene (someone is injured or sick) she will bury her face into my neck.  She can't bear to see anyone in pain.

Because of this, I have wondered how she would handle the chapter about Christ's crucifixion.  I know she's heard the story before, as we've read about this in some of her Bible story books.  But to my knowledge, this is the first time she's heard this story straight out of the Bible.

Today we were scheduled to read Mark 14:43-72.  Peanut was sitting in my lap and while I was reading about the soldiers beating and mocking Jesus, she wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her face into me.  I stopped reading for a bit so we could discuss what was happening, and how she felt.  She said she didn't want to read anymore, so I asked her if she knew how the story ended.  Peanut nodded her head yes, and said Jesus would come back to life.  I asked if she wanted me to keep reading, so we could read the happy part of the story.  Peanut thought for a bit, then agreed to have me continue reading.  Mark 15 was very difficult for Peanut.  I paused off and on to be sure she was ok.  We talked about why Jesus died on the cross.  Then I read chapter 16.  It was such a relief to her to read about Jesus coming back to life, and that He was ok!

It was very touching this morning to read from the Bible with my girl.  To be able to experience the anguish and joy through her eyes... I think this morning she is the one who taught me about reading God's Word... seeing it through my daughter's eyes was  an eye opening experience for me.  And it reminded me of what a great sacrifice Jesus made, so that I might have eternal life with Him.

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A Day To Remember

Today is a very special day. On this day, May 31st, 2009, my oldest Daughter was baptized by my husband! Today has been a day of celebration! We praise God for our daughter, and the decision she has made to follow Him. Today is a day to remember!

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One year ago tomorrow...

One year ago tomorrow my little sweetie asked Jesus to come into her heart. She was 4 years old, the same age as her older sister when she asked Jesus into her heart. What an exciting year this has been, watching her grow spiritually. I remember that first night so clearly. She had been in bed, but came out to me and said in an almost disappointed tone, "Mommy, I asked Jesus to come in to my heart, but I didn't see Him come in!" So I crawled into bed with her, and we discussed what it means to ask Jesus in to your heart. She said she knew she had done naughty things, and she was sorry and wanted Jesus to come live in her heart, but she couldn't understand why she didn't see Him enter her. Ah, the faith of a child!

Since then she has played with Jesus, colored with Jesus, and tried to give Jesus gifts. She has come to me, not understanding why He won't take her toys up to heaven with Him.

For the last several months my little sweetie has questioned me, wanting to understand how Jesus enters our hearts. When I couldn't give her an answer she was satisfied with, she said, "Maybe He crawls in." Then one night during our bedtime devotions we read a Bible story that said Jesus rules in our hearts. I could almost see a light bulb turn on over hear head and she exclaimed, "Ohhhhh! So that's how Jesus gets in our hearts! He rolls in!"

Yes, the faith of a child. Happy birthday, Sweetie!

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Coffee with Jesus

This afternoon has been so quiet! My hubby's parents took the girls for a sleepover today, so this afternoon has been just me and the cat. I straightened the apartment, made my oldest daughter's birthday present (She's going to be 8 next week! I keep thinking I'm not old enough for an 8 year old! Then I have to remind myself I'm in my 30's...), and now I'm just enjoying a quiet relaxing evening. I might have to make myself a cup of tea in a little while, as it seems cold in here, and tea just sounds good this evening. It's too bad I can't have coffee in the evening, but the caffeine would keep me awake all night. Actually, it's probably a good thing I have to stop drinking coffee at noon, or our grocery bill would probably double. :-)

Anyway, I promised I'd share about my quiet time and computer fasting from this past week, so here I am. To be honest, I only stayed away from the computer for a few days, and they weren't all consecutive. I think the easiest thing would be to copy some things from my journal.

Friday, 1/2/09 - I put away my computer this morning, for a few days. I spend more time with my computer than I do with Jesus. I even spend more time with my computer than I do with my kids. It's definitely time to get my priorities straight.
Saturday, 1/3/09 - My quiet time this morning was fantastic! I woke up before my alarm went off & had around an hour & 45 minutes in prayer & Bible reading, and it was amazing!
Sunday, 1/4/09 - This evening I opened up my computer to rip some praise songs into mp3s to use in my quiet time. That would have been fine, but I got sidetracked & spent a couple hours on the internet surfing, just doing worthless stuff. I think I need to set up some ground rules for myself with my computer.
Monday, 1/5/09 - I had another really great quiet time this morning! Having praise music to listen to with my headphones while everyone else was asleep was really cool.The songs really spoke to my heart, especially Draw Me Close To You. This morning my 5-year old got up while I was reading my Bible. Usually when she gets up she wants to cuddle, and I almost always say, "No, Mommy's having her quiet time with Jesus." I have a hard time praying when she's there, because she asks questions, and talks, and makes it hard for me to focus. But this morning I decided since I was done praying & was reading my Bible, I'd go ahead and hold her. So I picked her up and we cuddled while I read. Then I decided I might as well read out loud. I was reading the first 3 chapters of Exodus, so I read out loud to her while she snuggled in my arms. I don't know if she absorbed any of what I was reading, but it was nice to snuggle with her while I read.
Tuesday, 1/6/09 - This morning when my alarm went off I knew I should get up, but I didn't. I turned it off & went back to sleep. By the time I got up it was time to fix breakfast for the girls, then do school. I haven't been feeling so well all morning - I don't feel sick, but I am feeling emotionally drained. I think it's because I didn't have my quiet time this morning. It's almost like when I don't have any coffee & go through withdrawl & feel all sluggish... I've given my daughter some work she can do independently, and retreated to my room for my quiet time. So now I'm going to have my coffee with Jesus & see if I feel any better..... Later... Yes - I feel very much refreshed! Now I am prepared for my day.

Those are the only days I wrote in my journal, but I've definitely learned something... putting aside distractions (whatever they may be... computer, sleeping in, anything else I'm tempted with) and having a set time each day to meet with Jesus makes a huge difference in my day! I've also found coffee is very important when it comes to my quiet time. If I grind the coffee beans and program the coffee pot the night before to start in the morning, I am much more likely to get up and have my quiet time. (I can't grind the coffee beans early in the morning without taking the risk of waking my youngest daughter. She'll hear it and get up, and then quiet time is no longer quiet. *s*) When my alarm goes off I know I only have so long to get up and have my coffee before the coffee pot turns off and the coffee gets cold, and then I've wasted my coffee. But if I don't set up the coffee pot the night before, I have less motivation to get up in the morning. And once the rest of the family wakes up, it's very difficult to find quiet time without distractions. I know it sounds silly, but for me, coffee is essential to my quiet times. :-)

One day recently when I did sleep in and had my quiet time later in the day, my youngest daughter saw me taking my cup of coffee into my room, and we had the following conversation. "Mommy, are you going to have your coffee with Jesus?" "Yes, sweetie, I am." "But Mommy, Jesus can't drink coffee!" "Oh Darling, if Jesus wanted to, He could drink coffee! After all, He created it!"

I think that pretty much concludes my week! Oh, and not every morning that I had my quiet time was fantastic. I was talking to a friend about that on the phone the other day, and she reminded me that's the way it is with any relationship. Some days are terrific. And some are just OK, nothing spectacular. But I guess just the fact that Jesus wants me to keep coming to Him is spectacular!

Oh, and there's one last thing I'll share. This morning my daughter got up after I had finished having my Devotions. She was so disappointed I was done. "Mommy, I wanted you to hold me and read to me!" So I scooped her up and read out loud the next chapter from my reading in Exodus. That was so special to me; she's just turned 5, and wants me to read to her from my Bible. The amazing thing is, usually she is not interested in books without pictures. But I guess God can even use "grownup Bibles" to speak to His little children.

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Friend of God

Lately in my Quiet Time I have seen certain people stand out as being called a "friend of God." The first, of course, are Adam and Eve. Imagine walking with God in the garden every evening! I've heard this story I don't know how many times in my life, but this time the thing that most stood out was that God came to the garden to walk with Adam and Eve. Wouldn't that be amazing? (Adam and Eve aren't called friends of God in this passage, but I can see a friendship between them, at least before the fall.)

Then we read about Cain killing his brother, Abel. I always thought Cain must have been a bad person, right to the core of his being. I mean, how can anyone even think of killing their own brother? But when God banished him from the land, Cain's response makes me think twice... "My punishment is too great for me to bear! You have banished me from my land and from Your presence...!" (Genesis 4:13-14) Now granted, Cain's first thought was being banished from his land, but the fact that he brings up being banished from God's presence tells me he must have had some sort of relationship with his heavenly Father.

Now comes one of my favorite people in the Bible; Enoch! I really wish we were told more about him. But what a legacy! "...Enoch lived another 300 years in close fellowship with God, and he had other sons and daughters.... He enjoyed a close relationship with God throughout his life. Then suddenly, he disappeared because God took him." (Genesis 5:22, 24) I've often wondered, what about Enoch set him apart so much that he above all others of his time enjoyed a close fellowship with God? What can I do to have what Enoch had? I long for that close relationship with my heavenly Father!

Well as you can probably guess, I'm reading through Genesis. :-) And I've come to see there are several people throughout this book who enjoyed a close relationship with God. I love how it says they enjoyed a close relationship with God. Because that truly is something to enjoy!

Even though I really long for this close relationship with God, lately it just seems out of my grasp. I don't feel close to Him. And I know we can't always rely on feelings because they don't truly gauge the heart. But I've been wondering, what can I do to grow closer to my Father?

Another passage I've recently read is where Abraham was willing to sacrifice his son, Isaac. That has always bothered me, that God would even ask Abraham to do such a thing! I know God had planned all along to spare Isaac, but it is still a really hard story for me to think about. But I guess the point was, Abraham was willing to give up everything he had for God.

Then later when God called Jacob to move his family, first he got rid of his household idols, and purified his family and moved to where God called him. I thought it was really strange that Jacob had idols, when he was obviously a God-fearing man. So I read a little bit about this, and apparently the idols were something of a "good luck charm." Jacob probably didn't worship the idols, but they were something he had with pagan roots that would have gotten in the way of his relationship with God.

So this morning I got to thinking, what do I have in my life that is getting in the way of my relationship with my heavenly Father? And if there is anything, am I willing to surrender it to Him? Well unfortunately, one thing does come to my mind; my computer. I use this thing more than I care to admit. :-) And nothing I do on it is wrong... but if there is any chance that my time on my computer is coming between me and God, then I need to change something. So for the time, I'm going to put my laptop back in its case, and put it away. I don't know how long it will be; it could be a couple days, it could be a week. But I am not going to use my computer until whatever stronghold it has over me is broken, and I can think of my self as a friend of God. I want to use this time to grow closer to Him.

In any case, I won't be blogging for a few days! But I'll be back. And hopefully then my faith will be refreshed, and I will feel what I know is true in my heart.

Oh, and Happy New Year!

~Emily

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Daddys and Daughters

Last week our youngest daughter celebrated her 5th birthday. My baby is growing up! Right now I can hear her sweet little voice as she sounds out some words in one of her books.

Our daughter received some nice gifts from friends and family, but one of her favorites is the gift my husband gave her. He gave her a timer set at 30 minutes, and a letter that stated that every day for the next year he will spend at least 30 minutes with her, doing whatever she wants (it has to be approved by Daddy - for instance, he won't take her to the park in the rain *l*). He listed several ideas, such as a trip to the carousel, playing at the park, cuddling on the couch watching a movie, playing with her toys, or a computer game. It has only been nine days since Daddy gave his girl this special gift, but the transformation I've seen in their relationship has been amazing! Our daughter has always loved her Daddy, but she's always been a Mommy's girl. She wants to sit by Mommy, play with Mommy, she wants Mommy to take her to her class at AWANA... but lately she has grown to adore her Daddy! Something as simple as spending at least 30 minutes a day with her on her level has brought an amazing dynamic to their relationship. And I can't even begin to say how much it warms my heart to see their relationship blossom.

This afternoon during my quiet time I read Genesis 4-7. There were two people that really stood out to me; Enoch and Noah. I have always been intrigued by the story of Enoch. The Bible doesn't tell us much about him, but listen to what it does say:

After the birth of Methuselah, Enoch lived another 300 years in close fellowship with God, and he had other sons and daughters. Enoch lived 365 years in all. He enjoyed a close relationship with God throughout his life. Then suddenly, he disappeared because God took him. ~Genesis 5:22-24

Imagine what it would be to have such a close relationship with God! I have often thought I would love to have that kind of relationship with God! In fact, some time ago I wrote in the margin of my Bible, "If Enoch could live 300 years in close fellowship with God, surely I could strive for 60!"

In the next chapter I read about Noah.

Noah was a righteous man, the only blameless man living on the earth at the time. He consistently followed God's will and enjoyed a close relationship with Him. ~Genesis 6:9

So I got to thinking; what made these two men so special? What was it about them that helped them to have that close relationship with God? Then I thought about my husband and daughter. Lately they are enjoying such a wonderful relationship! My daughter adores her Daddy, and he takes delight in the fact that she wants to spend time with him. Maybe all I need to do to improve my own spiritual walk is to make the effort. If I choose to spend time with my heavenly Daddy every day, growing closer to Him will come naturally. He's given me insight into His heart; all I need to do is read His Word. And He's also given me a way to communicate with Him, through prayer. My heart longs to share a special relationship with my heavenly Father. I'm looking forward to this renewed spiritual journey I'm about to embark upon!

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"Let's split the Baby Jesus!"

My parents sent my husband and I an early Christmas present. The girls have to wait until Christmas for their presents, but we were told we could open ours now. They sent us the coolest set of cookie cutters that make up the manger scene! The set includes Mary and Joseph, Baby Jesus and a manger, a king, camel, shepherd, sheep, donkey, star, heart, and angel. Mom and Dad wanted us to have our present early so we could make use of the cookie cutters during the next few weeks. So today I washed all the cutters, and prepared a batch of our favorite sugar cookie dough. I'll have to share the recipe here sometime, and also post pictures of our nativity cookies. :-)

Well, once the cookies came out of the oven the girls were marveling over the different shapes, and my oldest daughter piped up, "I want the Baby Jesus!" To which my younger daughter said, "But I want the Baby Jesus!" They continued to argue over which one should have the Baby Jesus, and my husband had his own idea. "I don't think we should eat the Baby Jesus. Something just doesn't seem right about that." Finally my youngest piped up, "I know! We can split the Baby Jesus!" That got me to thinking, so I grabbed a knife and cutting board, and brought it to the table. I asked the girls, "Why did Jesus come?" My oldest replied that He came to die for us. Then we talked about Jesus coming to give His life for all of us, and that His whole reason for coming is so we could all share Him. So I cut the Baby Jesus into four pieces, and gave one to each of us. I will admit, there was something strange about cutting the Jesus cookie into four, and then eating it... but it drove a point home to each one of us. My husband said we could almost do this for communion, as it would help to cement in our girls' minds as to why we take communion, and the sacrifice Jesus made.

Eating the rest of the cookies was much easier, but I think from now one when we make the nativity cookies, we will all share the Baby Jesus. Because that's what He came to do; He shared His life for us. I look forward to many more memories we will make as we celebrate this Christmas season, and the birthday of our King!

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My Greatest Wish...

My daughter's birthdays are coming up. We pretty much know what we're doing for our soon to be 8 year old, but I haven't got a clue yet what we will do for our soon to be 4 year old. And her birthday is only about 3 weeks away, so we'd better get on the ball!

The other night I asked the girls if they could have anything they wanted, what would it be? I didn't say anything about birthdays or Christmas, I just asked what they'd want if they could have anything. My oldest daughter thought for a moment, but when she answered I was blown away.

"Well, I could ask for more toys... but when I really think about it, what I really want is to grow closer to God. I mean, toys are nice and everything, but sometimes I feel like I'm just not growing close enough to Him, and that's what I'd really like. I want to learn to pray more, and read my Bible. Yeah, that's what I'd really like."

Sometimes my children astound me. So much wisdom coming from someone so young! Is this why Jesus said we should become like little children? There are times I learn so much from them.

Although I was surprised by my daughter's answer to my question, when I really thought about it, I realized that's the same thing I want. It's what I've been longing for. And I suppose if we all stop to think about it, growing closer to Jesus is something we all long for. I think He put that pull in our hearts. But too often I ignore it.

My quiet time is something that has suffered for a long time. When it comes right down to it, it is never quiet in my home. Sometimes I try going to my room and shutting the door to read my Bible and pray, but I am always so easily distracted, and I'm not able to focus. So most of the time I just let it go. But then, what kind of an example am I setting for my kids? Maybe what I should be doing is reading my Bible and praying when they are around me. I will still be distracted, but apparently no more so than when I am by myself. And I want my girls to see their Mommy spending time in prayer, and time in the Bible. If they don't see it from me, where are they going to see it?

So yeah... I want to grow closer to Jesus, too. And when I grow up, I want to be like my little girl. :-)

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